F.E.A.R.

3/27/11

F.E.A.R.

You've probably seen this acronym: False Expectations Appearing Real—FEAR.

Fear can be many things—and many of those things not so good. Admittedly, there is rational and appropriate fear which triggers our fight/flight/freeze mechanism—we get a boost of chemicals that can change our chemistry that can change our physiology to be able to do things we wouldn't normally be able to do—an adrenaline rush, we say.

But the large majority or our fear responses are much less resourceful, leading to excess stress, worry, compromised immune function, negativity, anger, and the list goes on.

I hear many teachers, writers, and speakers tell us how to reduce fear; some of these techniques can be somewhat helpful. I hear things like “think positive”, “get rid of the fear”, “be strong or brave,” “don't let them see you sweat”, “conquer your fears”, etc.

It may be helpful to look at fear a little differently.

Like all base emotions, fear is energy in motion—e-motion. We don't create or destroy energy, only block it or direct it. Blocking our fears is a natural tendency, and a limiting one. Attempts to block fear by denying, avoiding, procrastinating, or running from it will only send it deeper. I think it is far more useful to do 3 things: name it, face it, embrace it.

Name It

Identifying our fears gives us the opportunity to know what we are truly dealing with--”you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Fear is often an exaggerated response that makes things seem worse and far more unmanageable than they need to be. When we know what we are afraid of, we can form an effective plan of action.

Face It

Running from fear is avoidance. By bringing our fear into awareness, we can begin to distinguish what is rational and what is irrational or exaggerated. A phobia is one of those exaggerated and irrational responses kept alive by avoidance which allows it to take over our lives. Face it by seeing it, talking to it, listening to it, and challenging the “false expectations” that fear can trigger.

Embrace It

You can embrace fear as a natural and useful response to situations that probably began as a very helpful and useful positive intent—then grew out of proportion. To embrace fear, acknowledge it and accept it—even be grateful for it—stop making it such a powerful enemy to which we give so much power that our sense of self is diminshed. This is how we arrive at such disempowered states.

Finally, fear is the other side of desire or love. Begin to direct your consciousness to what you desire, and fear loses its power. It doesn't “get rid” of it, it merely exposes it for what it is—a feeling that can create an expectation that turns into a set of experiences.

The most limiting and destructive outcomes of mismanaged fear are mistrust and loss of hope. Trust and hope are essential for fulfilling our potential in all aspects of life including relationship, health, prosperity, and bliss.

So here is the formula for managing fear: name it, face it, embrace it, then direct your attention and intention to desire—what do you want, what do you love, what is your passion, what is your vision? In the field of desire, fear loses its power and its hold on your life.

Blessings,

Gary