Ok. Here's a secret that very few seem to get--that's why I'm calling it a secret: you can have a reasonably satisfying relationship--at the very least--by simply turning your spotlight (attention, consciousness) on finding similarities rather than differences. This is what I call rapport. Rapport is magical. When rapport is established, trust starts to grow. Ultimately, good relating are built on a foundation of trust and respect. So looking for similarities/commonalities leads to the two basic truths of rapport:

1. When I think you like me, I tend to like you;
2. When I think you are like me, I tend to like you.

So liking is key to building rapport and rapport is key to good communication and relationship.

SO try it out. Think of someone you don't really like and/or have some tension/conflict with.
Make a list of all the things you have in common--especially values because common values have you feel that you are from the same "tribe"--but also hobbies, goals, qualities, etc. The more you add to the list of similarities/commonalities, the more connected you will feel--at the very least, it will give you negotiation leverage!

Just a thought.

Have enjoyed a quiet thoughtful weekend. Wondering what would people be thinking about if they weren't angry, critical, worried, or afraid--seems to occupy so much time and energy that could be directed elsewhere--like "who do I want to be when I grow up and stop bitching about the president, the republicans/democrats, the economy......" In my consulting groups, no one gets to complain unless they have 3 solutions to fix the complaint. I think I'll make that my new New Year's resolution--no complaints without at least 3 possible solutions with action steps--this includes complaints about myself!

When mind and heart aligns...

I've been listening to clients speak about their sense of being disconnected lately and find myself repeating the same message to multiple clients: there is no disconnection between you and Source--there is only disconnection of mind from heart. You're head and heart want to be on the same page and when they are not, we can easily feel as though we are spiritually or relationally isolated. Isolation is an illusion! We are intricately connected with all that is. So to operate from that fundamental understanding allows us to begin to inquire into our own ego states that have us feel as though the illusion is real--that feeling lonely means I am alone, that "feeling" disconnected means I am disconnected. As the Course in Miracles states: "if you knew all that walk with you every step of the way on your journey, you would never feel alone or afraid again"